Recently my partner has become very sick and develpoed a large lump in his throat, has lost 30kgs in 3 weeks and has trouble eating, drinking ect. After a lot of arguing about it I made him go to see a doctor even though he gets very anxious about doctors he was check and has been going through a lot of testing that he won't let me go to support him and now the doctor has told him it could be lymphoma but is not sure what type yet and won't let me go to any appointments to ask my own questions. At the same time this all started I was also not well and had test done and was told I have stage 3 lesions on my cervix and he wanted me to have a procedure done to remove it before it becomes cancer. I haven't been back to sort anything out for me because I feel like my partner needs to have his treatment done before mine and its more urgent even though I have no o
Idea how I can have mine done and deal with the recovery time when he will take a long time to recover and we have no one else to help us with our 3 young children. I feel completely lost and heartbroken because the way my partner has decided to deal with this is to give up and told me I have to leave with the kids and live with my parents because he doesn't want me watching him die. I was so upset when he said this that I got angry and yelled at him and told him I wasn't giving up and definately wasn't leaving. He is now being so horrible to me and saying the most nasty hurtful things to me and is acting like he has no responsibilities and is going out every night with mates racing cars, doing burnouts and anything that is suggested to him and sometimes dosent come home at all and I have to do everything on my own after he is nasty and says the most hurtful things until I am in tears then have to suck it up to be able to look after my kids. I think he is just trying to make me hate him so I leave like he wants me to. I am terrified and know I can't handle having an autistic 3 year old, a baby who was born with an airway defect and regularly stops breathing all while trying to deal with going through a custody battle for my 7 year old and knowing that her dad is involving her in court proceedings and telling her that I am a bad mum and she should be scared of my partner. It has caused her so much stress that she has started having toileting accidents and pulling her hair out and has be seeing a phycologist. I feel completely overwhelmed and don't know what to do and have no help or family to help, daycare cancelled my sons care because of his extreme behavior and are struggling with money because my partner can't work and now his boss is threatening to fire him and we will have nowhere to live because we rent a company house. I hate admitting this but sometimes I close my eyes and image packing the little stuff that is mine and running away from it all, I know I could never do it but I am scared of how I will handle this level stress for much longer.
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9 Replies
Contact families first or family integrated services they can help connect you with respite and other services and support. The school can organise a referral for you
Gosh that sounds awful and so overwhelming. You need someone to talk to too. Could you go to a psychologist to have a chat or ask to see a social worker at your local community health centre for some support?
Please get yourself looked after your kids need you ask your parents for help. All the best sorry i couldn't be more help
Honey, get your procedure done ASAP! Your kids need one live parent. Talk to your parents, if your child has autism you are entitled to a respite worker to come to the house while you recover. Call the Comminwealth Carelink Centre.
Hubby needs to have his tantrum and let him, once he has calmed down you can sort things out. But you need to look after yourself now.
This is the number for Commonwealth Carelink Centres
1800 052 222
Thanks everyone for your support. It has really helped. I think I might have not other option but to leave so I can get the help from my family. Because I live in a remote area I am struggling to get my son diagnosed so I can't get any respite care. But now I just have to wait to be given approval from the court to leave because of the custody battle I am going through with my oldest child's father. I just hope it doesn't take to long and the lesions progress to cervical cancer.
Could you leave your eldest with his father for awhile, if it's safe? It won't be permanent but no point winning a custody battle to loose your life!
I have thought about but unfortunately she hates going to her father's house because she is not treated well and has been reffered to a child phycologist after something has happened during a visitation and she started having accidents in her pants and pulling out her hair. I don't know what happened but it has affected her very badly.
Hang in there mum call in the supports the school can make the referrals even if they just help keep you from falling to pieces and keep you safe til you can leave. Be honest with them.
Iv been in your position waiting out the courts to be able to run.....its worth the wait but the wait is literal hell