Hi ladies I'm looking for someone who's gone through a similar situation so here goes I'm currently 38 weeks pregnant and found out a week ago my partner had signed up and even tried to pay for membership with affairalerts.com in November and continuously checked it daily during December, we have discussed things and I have given him a chance to continue this relationship but now I'm worried that when in hospital he might take it as a chance to cheat again in whatever form (I believe online is a form of cheating also) as he claims nothing physical resulted from the site which causes me to have so many mixed thoughts and feelings about it all please someone I need to vent and I want your stories the good and bad
9 Replies
From experience the only way things get back on track are if the person who cheated is prepared to be an open book. So emails, phones etc all need to be transparent until he can show he can be trusted. If they aren't prepared to be answerable and open then it's best to call it a day.
He has agreed to let me have full access to his emails and phone ect but I can't help n worry he would be smarter this time round and discard of evidence and because I'll be absent for a little while while im at hospitaI so it gives him more of a chance to do so don't actually know if he would or wether he would even make the same mistake as it wasn't like him to do this in the first place but our sex life and relationships has been rough through pregnancy
Sadly I think it's a sign of real immaturity on his part. I can understand your fears. Is this how he is going to deal with all rough patches? Only you can decide if you want to end it or work through it.
well, i found my now ex on dating sites for years (wed been together 5 years)...i turned a blind eye. I fell pregnant and got left 6 months into the pregnancy, he also had a child from a previous relationship. He is now engaged to be married. I believe its all in all the time or out. Basically, if hes looking now, he will always be looking and youll never have "peace" in the relationship
No advice just big hugs to you!
I honestly feel for you, my heart broke a little reading. This should be a time of excitement for you not worry. I truly hope only good things to come to you and your baby no matter the outcome.
xx
Thank you x
I went through a similar situation with my partner just after we had our 3rd baby.. I just got down to the point and said whether or not he agrees, I view it as crossing the line and it being a way of cheating... He was only looking but I explained to him that if he was happy with our relationship then he shouldn't be looking at all.. He has no reason too... I felt for a bit that I was overreacting but then I made the decision that I wasn't and put my foot down.. Even told him that if there was ever a next time that I would pack the kids and leave...
Hi there I was in your situation almost exactly, I was pregnant (second time around) together 6 years, engaged & I found messages on facebook talking to randoms about photos ect.
Now you're the only who can decide if leaving is right for you. Saying that you can come back from it if your foundation is strong, both people are open and can forgive.
We sat down and spoke at length several times over. I explained that I thought It was cheating, he explained he thought it was 'innocent fun' nothing physical & I explained that this was his one & only chance, if I found it again both the kids & I would be gone.
It wasn't easy but we made it thru, I took years but I forgave and we have the trust back. I never found more messages, on Facebook or his phone (trust me his not clever enough to hide them) so it can be done if you think it's the right move for you! Take some time, think about how your feeling & what you thing is best, but most of all be open, talk.
Hope that helps. If you want to talk more I can be found in facebook.
I too found my husband on single sites and looking for affair sites I was in a daze and somehow we managed to get through it and in the meantime found out I was pregnant with baby number 3. It was and still is a very tough process to work through but he is now an open book and we have sought marriage counselling. I did have him move out for a few months although he came over everyday to see the kids. The space seemed to work well for us I figured it would either make us work or break us. I couldn't just walk away from an 8 year relationship without trying and I am so glad we did. 12 months on we are better than ever more open and honest about every aspect of our lives.