I've just recently had my second baby, two perfect beautiful healthy boys. While I'm absolutely over the moon and filled with happiness, I can't shake the feeling I may be suffering from post natal depression. I'm looking for people's experiences and Wondering how you recognized it in yourself?
My partner isn't the most supportive, his slowly getting better day by day. I have absolutely no energy for anything, when my partner is home from work and my son from school I feel some what distracted from how I feel, but when its just me and my baby there's no escape, when I can't settle him after a while I'm in tears with him, when his sleeping I slop around feeling sorry for myself instead of doing the housework that needs to be done. I don't know how to cope with everything. My head just feels in a massive jumble.I feel so isolated. I resent my partner for being able to do what he likes, he doesn't do much at all, just every weekend goes to his mates or goes for a cruise with them. Every time I end up fighting with him about it.
Saying it outloud makes me feel like I've failed my little boy. I didn't have it with his brother why now. However I think I can answer that question, I was very young and my only responsibility was my baby and I. Now I have two kiddies, a house, pets bills I can't afford and an older child called my partner. Yesterday I took a shower just so I could cry without my partner knowing.
In your experiences what does this sound like? Is this the usual adjusting period. Or should I stop avoiding and visit my GP?
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3 Replies
It does sound like pnd. The having a shower just to cry sounds familiar!
I recognised that I needed help for my postnatal anxiety when I felt like I would never be able to take care of my baby without my mum's help or that I would never be able to stop baby from crying. It was in hind sight quite irrational.
Please see your gp. It makes a world of difference just being able to voice your concerns. Best of luck!
It would be wise to talk to someone, I found the ladies at PANDA were great I rang up and said this is how I feel, what's wrong with me, how can you help me? They have a great website so have a look at that. I did then go on to see my gp and my partner was not supportive. Things I found that helped were having a shower and getting dressed, hair brushed, feeling like I could face the day then getting Bub dressed out of pjs. Meal plan a little bit so you remember to eat and your older son has meals too, drink camomile teas/herbal teas instead of coffee which can give you an even bigger low.
It might be adjusting or might be something more, I'd suggest ringing panda first they were great first step for me.
I knew when I noticed a good day among bad days and not the other way. If you have post natal depression you are not a failure. You can't avoid this any more than you can avoid the cold. It just happens to you and then you make a move to feel better about yourself. I was very embarrassed to have ended up with depression. I felt like I was failing my son on all counts, I felt like running away, like a tough 5 minutes felt like a week. I felt angry sad and trapped most of the day every day. My mum also had post natal depression. She said two very valuable things. Did I think she was a failure because she had suffered it too. I said no, she said i couldn't hold myself to a double standard. So either we were both failures or neither of us were. She told me about her experience, how she tried to pretend to herself everything was ok and how she succeeded in pretending for a long time. Until she hit a very dark place. She told me the sooner you recognise you don't feel right, the sooner you be really brave and go see your gp, the easier it is to recover because you have less of a mountain to climb. I went to my gp the next day. I got tablets to help me, and I got a few counselling sessions. I worked out why I was unhappy and made some changes to that. I was off the tablets in five months and finished my counselling early. I feel good about myself again, and know if this ever happens to me again it is ok to ask for help, I didn't do something wrong. I just need a bit of tlc and to be a little bit selfish so I can be a stronger role model for my kids and let them know no matter what crap happens to you you can always bounce back. Be brave, be strong. You haven't failed, I promise x