It's r u okay day today and I'm not okay. I have two young children (both under 2). No family support close by, no real friends (all in another country) and a husband that is 'over my shit'
I feel like a terrible mother, wife & person. I've sought help. But it's not helping. I'm currently sitting outside the doctor surgery about to go in and ask for medication which I have been scared to take as have heard stories of people becomming addicted to them and I also don't want to put on heaps of weight as im already very self conscious at my post baby weight and it doesn't help coming into summer and not being able to cover up.
Anyway not really sure what I'm asking im just so lost. I feel emotionally and physically drained. Hubby and I had a huge argument infront of our beautiful kids this morning and my toddler was Cryin and was so scared - Pls no judgement I feel bad enough already. It never gets physical just shouting and I lost the plot and started throwing stuff in anger.
I know I can't continue anymore like this which is why I'm at the doctors. I'm just scared. Im wondering if it will help as the psychiatrist appts don't seem to be.
I wish I had a friend or relative that I could turn to on days like this. I feel so alone right now. Thanks for reading. And I hope you are okay x
So lost. Please help me.
So lost. Please help me.
Posted in:
Mental Health, Post Natal Depression
6 Replies
Medication saved my life! I didn't gain weight on medication, in fact I started to eat better eventually because I wasn't such a mess. Things can get better but medication is worth the risk, I've never been addicted to the tablets and personally I'd rather take the meds everyday for the rest of my life than live one more day longer the way I was. I couldn't function at all.
It's now been 5 years on and I've been off meds for 3 and doing great. I wouldn't hesitate to go back in them again if I needed them.
For me the meds allowed me to get something out of the psychologist sessions and the two approaches combined do have the best evidence if success. It can be hard work though and some days I felt like giving up, but man I felt so much better when I pushed through something.
Anyway just wanted to say hang in there. Things can get better and will get better.
Admitting that you're not ok is the first step lovely, well done. Please don't be so hard on yourself. I can relate to a lot of what you have said. The thing you need most right now is a strong support system but it sounds like you don't have anyone. Please, if you need someone to talk to, send me an email? [email protected] I'd love it if I could help at least one person feel a little bit more ok today xx
I know how you are feeling. Going to get help is the best thing you can do right now. You know you don't want to continue the way things are and you are seeking help, so good on you :) Don't worry about your weight, you are a beautiful strong woman doing an awesome job. Look into childcare for your kids for a day a week or at least 4 hours and then use this time to have 'me' time. It is amazing how much that will help. Your kids love you just the way you are and you are the only Mum they want. Don't forget that.
Ohh hun, I've not really got any advice for you but just wanted to say that I hope things improve for you. You are not a bad mother, we all have our moments. And trust me when I say that you're not alone in this. What state are you in? Hopefully the doctor can point you in the right direction & get you some help, even just someone you can talk to that you feel comfortable doing so around as the meds take a while to kick in & start to make a difference. All the best lovely, i hope you find all the happiness you deserve. xx
I could have written this. I am sitting at home, just started on anti depressants again. I can't help feeling like a failure, but I know Im doing the right thing. I fight with my husband in front of kids. I threw shit at him the other day and screamed my head off.
I know taking these will help. Please try. I am with you on this
Ah love to you honey, I've been there. Had you considered seeing a good naturopath? You sound completely adrenaly fatigued. As you would be with 2 under 2. By all means go with your gut and the doctors advice but just don't forget the nutritional depletion and then hormone stress placed on your body having 2 under 2. If not a naturopath at least ensure your iron levels and thyroid are checked. There are amazing herbs out there that can help your stress response and boost your body back to health from a nutritional stand point not medication that can be full on in itself. But hey like other mums have said that medication can be life changing and necessary so go with your gut. For me personally they were too much. Do your research, look into adrenal herbs like Withania, licorice, passionflower (for your angry outbursts that would probably be really a tired stress response more than anger I'm guessing) Magnesium, B vitamins, fish oi etc. All the very best to you. I have lived this road, 2 reflux babies under 2 and I'm also a naturopath and a registered nurse. Find help in your own way maybe medication plus restoring your body with nutrients. You are doing an amazing job! Find a time out for you and demand it happen, a movie, a pedicure, it's just an hour or two and you will have so much more to give if you give just a little to yourself.