Hello fellow IM's
I have a 14 year old. A beautiful, well rounded friendly boy who is adored by all. I've just recently found out that he has been drinking alcohol (through a friend) He has done it at school and apparently at a friends.
I am unsure how to deal with it. I was instantly upset and wanted to scream at him, but I have to be rational about it. I don't want to make him want to drink again, but I need him to realise it's not acceptable at his age to be drinking.
No, hubby and I aren't big drinkers. I rarely have a drink and hubby is a social drinker (so not an everyday thing). I feel like I have failed as a parent to know that my son has turned to drinking alcohol. We try so hard to teach right from wrong.
We are the kind of parents that know where our son is and so I thought, what he is doing! He has a girlfriend, and I have seen on her facebook page that she has photos of alcohol bottles.... this makes me very uneasy. I am wondering if it's pressure?.... my mind is a scramble to be honest!
Please IM's, I don't know what to say or do. We've not told our son we know yet, we're trying to process the information first. How would you all deal with this situation? Thanks lovelies!
2 Replies
Ask him why he drank. Have a conversation about it. He is 14 so now is the time to talk honestly, answer his questions, be a listener, understand why he tried it. Express your disappointment with out yelling, educate him on why you don't want him drinking (not because it's 'bad'). Kids his age are going to experiment with stuff. They take some risks. The trick is to minimise the risk taking without pushing them into rebellion and without the experiment becoming a habit. But yelling and giving a lecture won't help.
Thank you!
Hubby and I did just that. We were very rational dealing with it. Asked why he did it. It came down to peer pressure from his girlfriend. We told him that he doesn't need to impress anyone, girlfriend or not. It's the wrong thing to do at his age. He is too young and the affects of alcohol on a teens (or anyone's) body is horrendous. Think smart, and don't give in to pressure. Always talk to us about anything he is being pressured into. We expressed our disappointments and he has promised to be smarter in the future.
I was so upset when I found out but I am glad I took the time to process it all before we spoke to him.
I really appreciate your comment, thank you!!