Hi IM's, having issues with my 16 year old boy. Recently i jumped on his Facebook and had a sneaky read of his personal mess (i know complete invasion of privacy) but my gut was telling me that he is drinking and smoking weed. My fears were true. Now my question is i let him go to a party (before i read mess) told him absolutely no drinking. Find out through his facebook that indeed he got wasted on alchol and weed. He has just turned 16! How do i confront him about it with out him knowing that in fact i only just found out through snooping! He is a good kid and i have trusted him up until now. Gravely concerned about his mental health issues as he has suffered anxiety for years. If i ask him about anything he just get's really angry and locks himself in his room. Raising young men is so hard, not getting much support from father and step father as they think it's him just "finding" his feet and doing what young boys do. Personally i feel like grounding, riping the internet out of his room, but the dads say it's going totally the wrong way to go about it. TIA
3 Replies
Honestly, I'd get professional advice and taking him to see a professional. He is clearly around the wrong crowd of people if he is going to parties that are unsupervised and have alcohol and weed available.
I know it's such a tricky age to strike that common ground between a little bit of experimentation and all out partying.
I wouldn't worry about the door slamming too much, just an immature response to being found out.
I would get his mental health assessed again because if he is self medicating then that can be a problem.
I'd also be being more aware of whose parties he is going to. And NO not all teenage boys or girls get plastered on weed and alcohol
I would maybe approach from a legal stand point if he is generally a good kid. Maybe making it clear he is breaking the law will hit home.
I think as parents we have every right to look at our kids Facebook accounts. So many weirdos out there, out kids have no idea.
He could be smoking weed to actually help his anxiety. My partner was like this (he has suffered from PTSD though)
As for the drinking, unfortunately it's completely normal.
You need to find a soft approach to dealing with this.
He's a teenager and you have MANY more years of even more reckless behaviours ahead of you.
At this age he may just withdraw completely from you.