Hi mummas,
I have two kids to two different fathers and am under 30, I've also been married for 12 months and have now been single for about the same. I have started dating - my problem is this:
2 kids with different dads
Divorced
Under 30
I feel like 'on paper' this looks really bad, as if someone talking about me to someone who didn't know me it looks bad! I feel I could be easily judged or looked down upon for it. Even though I have my reasons for not being with either of the dad's and I believe im a good mum.
Have any other mums/dads been through this constant worry about 'how things sound' and how you might be judged?
7 Replies
My favourite saying 'it's not my business what someone else thinks of me' it's an effort to work towards not letting those things worry you but you can get there. What's important is you are happy with your life. PS I hardly thinks 2 different dad's in this day an age is even worth a gossip!
Yes I feel judged because I have a baby and we arnt married and we only rent don't own our own home.
you feel judged for that? seriously if people judge you in this day and age they need a life!
I know a lady who has 4 baby daddies to 5 kids!
Put it like this:
1 strong young mum
2 beautiful children
Still waiting for the one to grow old with. :)
I have two children to different dads and even though I am engaged to my youngest child's father, I had plenty of judgement when we announced our pregnancy. I even had younger single mothers tell me
I should be married first and own my own home. I remember being so devastated that people were reacting to our wonderful news in such a negative way as we had miscarried months earlier.
I remember I decided that I would not let other's opinions shape how I felt about my family unit and I responded on facebook to the judgement by saying "My marital status does not effect the quality of love, care and the life we provide for my child and we will provide my unborn baby. My children will always be so loved, and so cared for and will always feel special and feel that love."
Most people, the ones that know us and matter, were disgusted anyone would judge us based on being "untraditional".
What I'm trying to say is there will always be people who judge you, but you kind of need to sift through who's opinions matter and who's get tossed out for being ignorant and shallow minded. Life doesnt flow the same direction for everyone and with that horrible unfortunate matter of not being able to see your future, we dont know how things will turn out. You just stay strong, ignore nonesense and be that wonderful mother to your children. Xx
Im in exactly the same position. I had my first when i was 19, was married to his father for a few years then was single for a few years. was with my youngest's dad for a couple of years when i fell pregnant we separated 7 months ago and I'm 30! but my view is those who are going to judge don't deserve to be in your life. but i also have the worry of being seen as easy meat. Just gotta role with it i guess, you know you're a great mum i know I'm a great mum our kids love us so thats all that matters!
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/the-new-music-movement-of-love/2014/01/24/b...