You don't need DNA to be a daddy

Anonymous

You don't need DNA to be a daddy

Hi IM's...

Apologies for the long novel but I am after personal advice from some mums/fathers and couples that might have experienced this situation or something similar.

I have a 3 year old son from a previous relationship. The biological father of my son gave me the choice of 'him or the baby' - of course I followed my heart and decided to keep our baby as I could not go through with a termination. I knew being a single mother would be hard but it was the best decision I've made.
My relationship with my ex was toxic, emotionally, verbally and physically abusive towards the end of our relationship so I knew I didn't want to have my child around someone so unstable.

6 months after giving birth to my son I was swept off my feet unexpectedly and fell head over heels in love with my current partner. We have now been together 2.5 years and we have plans of one day adding more children to our little family.
My partner has taken on the role of 'daddy' and the bond between them two is incredible, I have always said to my partner that if we were to ever break up I would never stop him from seeing our son.
He does everything any other dad would do. Supports him, guides him and provides him with unconditional love and also financially.

I have not heard or seen from my ex since the day we split up. He has moved away and also changed phone numbers. Due to this I have never received any child maintenance and left him off the birth certificate. Even though he isn't listed on the birth certificate he still is entitled to 50% parental rights.

My question is - have any mums and dad's had difficulty with adoption without the biological fathers consent? Is there a way or a process of this being successful by proving parental abandonment?

My partner would love nothing more to become the legal guardian and follow through with the adoption of our son. We are based in WA and have done some research about this so we are aware of what's legally involved. We are hoping to get some insight from a personal perspective from someone that has already experienced it

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage, Men's Business, Being a Dad, Kids

6 Replies

Jessica Evans

I would have thought that because there is only your name on the birth certificate it would be easy for hin to adopt him or put him on the birth certificate.

I wish i would have done what you did, my partner is more of a father to me 4 yr old than her biological father and i love him completely for stepping up, good luck hun :) i hope it goes smoothly for you x

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Anonymous

Thank you so much, I know the process will be lengthy, costly and not easy but definitely worth it in the end.

Unfortunately even though his biological father isn't listed on the birth certificate, he still has 50% parental rights :(
In a nutshell, I want to terminate his parental rights without his consent (also because I have no idea where he is or how to locate him) on the grounds of parental abadonment.

I'm glad your little one has a father figure in her life :) every little girl needs a hero xx

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Jessica Evans

If you put your partner on the birth certificate with out the concent of the ex im pretty sure for your ex to get it changed he would have to prove he is the father of your child and pay for it all him self which by what your say i dont think he would bother.. contact birth deaths & marriages and ask about the process.

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Anonymous

Hello, I am in the EXACT same situation (its kinda scary actually how similar your story is too mine) ... Ive enquired into my partner legally adopting our son and Births Deaths and Marriages told me that you have to be married for atleast 2 years or in a PROVEN stable relationship for 2 years for them to even look at an adoption form. I also asked if i need to have the "Ex's" consent as he isnt listed on the birth cert and he is also exempt for paying child support and they said He doesnt need to give his consent only mothers consent and new partner!

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Anonymous

Hi :)

I'm so glad you've let me know, this gives me a bit of relief to know we may be able to do this without involving my ex.

Thank you for letting me know your situation x

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Anonymous

My sons biological father wasnt on the birth cert but he ended up paying maintenace, which ive chosen not to recieve now. I also have sole parental resposibilty, in a consent order. Does that me my partner could adopt him, without bio dads consent ? We have been together 3 n a bit yrs.

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