A message from a fellow sister Nicole:
Last night my three year old daughter was heading off to bed, and became upset, was crying and wouldn’t tell me what was wrong.
I was dashing back and forth trying to settle her and her brother down, when all of a sudden Miss 3 starts crying saying “‘i can’t do it, I can’t take it any more”.
And in this moment I felt my heart shatter. I scooped her up and held her tight and began to cry.
I’d just heard my daughter express her own self-talk and was horrified to hear my voice, my words come out of her mouth.
So now it is time to make changes, it is time for me to express love, gratitude, respect and awe for the world around me, and for myself, my soul, spirit and body. We must be mindful of our self-talk, our little ones are listening, and one day our voice will become part of their inner voice too.
We need to show our children what it is to have love, value and respect for the world around us, but it must start with us first!
A bit about Nicole:
I’m aged 22, my son Xavier aged 4.5, who has autism, intellectual impairment and a few other ‘disabilities’, and Charlotte, aged 3.5, we recently moved from Brisbane to the gold coast to get more help for my son, they/we have no family or friends around and their father has been absent for two years.
I’m incredibly close to the kids, and my values are all about family, fairness, respect, honestly and I have a long-term ‘outcome oriented’ approach to parenting, in regards to teaching and showing respect, communication, listening, manners and equality.
We face a lot of discrimination from the general public who don’t know how to respond to my son, and have been told everything from ‘you shouldn’t have had kids If you cant control them’ ‘he should/shouldn’t be doing this’ been called a ‘little shit’, had fingers pointed, been followed by strangers dirty looks and even been told by a stranger that Xavier ‘shouldn’t have been born or had his life saved by medical intervention’ – which is why I preach respect, tolerance and equality so fiercely
11 Replies
I hate hate hate how people respond to disabilities!!!
Wow! Nicole, I thought I had it tough as a single mum, but you have inspired me to be a better mother and I hope that all mum's out there take a leaf out of your book. You are a wonderful mother and your babies are blessings. Ignore the ignorant onlookers who have not walked a second in your shoes. Stay strong, big hugs :)
Ohh Jenna, I think this message will mean the world to Nicole. XX
You are an inspiration girl. I hope you find more support & keep up the good work with your conscious parenting & modeling of positive self talk. Your children are very lucky to have you. Give them an extra hug tonight
Thanks Baylee, hopefully Nicole sees this too!
Hi Nicole I can't believe I stumbled across this as we are neighbors nearly, your children are amazing and that is a credit to you. If you read this I would love for you to 'friend' me ok. Take care xo Rowena
Oh, how lovely!- it seems as though you are meant to be friends. x
It breaks your heart when you hear this, thank you for being brave enough to share. I have heard some things I have said come out of my daughter's mouth too and regret them terribly. There is also a lot of love that I here her speak that I know I have taught her so I bet this is the case for you too. Big hugs.
I think we've all heard terrible things come out of our kids mouths. It's very upsetting to hear, but it does give us a much needed jolt to change.
Thankyou so very much for your kind words everyone!! Life is full of lessons and opportunities, chances to grow your strengths, learn from your weaknesses and grow and grow, you never stop learning - which I why it's important to be gentle with ourselves! It is in our darkest hour that we learn the most, through our hardest battles that we are shown our true strength, and we grow and we grow, and we learn and we learn, and as time ticks on the smiles keep coming. My biggest saving grace through all has been my natural coping mechanism of laughter - you can either laugh or cry somedays, even if you laugh with tears in your eyes it will still help strengthen you :)
Hi Nicole can you please friend me again :) I didn't realize who it was till after sorry. And I can't friend you cause of your settings.