Heya ladies & gents.
Firstly, this may end up being long, drawn out, quite emotionally intense.
Trigger warning, pregnancy loss, ttc.
Backstory after initial question!
I am currently 3 days late, have had all symptoms of being pregnant, nausea, lethargic, excessive peeing, boobs are killing me! Moody as anything, emotional ?
I have done 3 hpts, one a week before due date, one two days before dd & one the day I was due, all completely negative. What are the chances I could be? (Back story coming)
I have had 4 miscarriages in the 3+ years we've been trying, since our last kiddo was born, our first took 6 1/2 years to conceive with 11 losses during that time. We are dying for a 3rd & final. I feel like I have this empty hole next to the place in my heart where I hold my two living babies, that needs to be filled. The constant let downs every month are destroying me, & the times we've actually conceived, every time I've allowed myself to get excited, & broken my heart every damn time.
I'm rambling now.
Any advice on trying to conceive. I have endometriosis, but apparently that's not the cause of the many losses we've suffered.
I'm so broken .....
2 Replies
Update: miscarried. Saw doctor, bloods confirmed low hcg.
I feel absolutely gutted for you, sending love and prayers your way. In the gentlest possible way, maybe the hole you are trying to fill with another child is your grief for the the traumatic losses you have had? Completely understandable. Maybe you should try counselling, break the cycle of trying to conceive for now, just "be" for a while. I only have 1 child, as much as it upsets me, I have learnt to accept that is what the universe had in store for me.