At what age did you tween/teenager look at porn?
I lovelies,
I don't know what I'm asking or just a vent.
I have a tweenager (12) year old boy, who has free-range of the Internet, iPod and computer. He has always been trust worthy, honest and the first person to raise his hand if he did something wrong.
I have all his passwords to his accounts, devices etc. I monitor everything he does and blocked all Porn/dating etc sites on the computer.
I must of overlooked the privacy setting on his iPod and to which there were no restrictions. But last night I skimmed through his iPod internet history and came across a few opened pages in (porn hub). I asked him if he had used safari and he denied - happened in October 2016. Denied using the iPod internet in 2-years.
I left it alone. And did my own digging. It only leads to him.
We have had the sex talk, masterbation, porn, girlfriends, protection, pregnancy, periods, transmitted diseases, puberty etc. We've even had in depth conversations regarding porn and its performed in this way for its views. It's nothing like 'real sex life sex'.
Also note: his iPod is not connected to my 'icloud' and is running without it. So the Internet history is solely his own.
I know the truth, as I have lied multiple times to my parents when i was a teenager. But if this is happening, what else can I do to educate him about this?
He is normally very open and honest to me. So me questioning his version of the truth regarding the porn, is me then feeling like I doubt him on his 'truth' but I know he's lying. And I get why, it's embarrassing.
Today when he was at school, I parental controlled (blocked) these websites. But there is no doubt in my mind the truth and no doubt in my mind he will find alternative routes to search this again.
I don't want to be ignorant on it and I surely don't want to either to be judged. At what age are you aware of your child looking at porn?
I know it's not a fantastic topic to discuss with your mum but I believe the more he's educated the more he can either ask questions and can make a better Decisions later on in life. (Unfortunately no solid man to discuss this with him, except grandfather, & he refuses these types of convos with him).
Just having a mini meltdown over here <--- my once little boy is turning into full rage of hormones, 'secretly' looking at porn and is a major grumpy bum. He is my only child and raising a boy is very different as I've only been brought up with sisters. Any advice on boy-teenagers greatly appreciated.
Thanks mums & dads, please no Judgement. ?
3 Replies
Completely normal! He may have just been curious.
I remember what it was like to be 12.
What you need to do is start having a no devices/TV in bedroom rule. That way he doesn't get a chance to access it again.
(And quite frankly, kids don't need these in their rooms).
Completely normal! I think the main thing you need to do (which you may already have) is have the very important chat about how porn sex is nothing like real life sex - my three boys are only young but I'm already dreading that lovely convo lol. Like you said, you aren't naive enough to think he won't look it up - it's totally normal for all curious teens, but just make sure he knows that the women in porn are acting and it's nothing like real life. All the best mum :)
If you haven't already check out child psychologist Steve Bidduloph facebook page & author of Raising Boys. He covers this topic. GL