How to say good bye to my little baby

I had a miscarriage 3 weeks ago and it's eating me up. I had been going through a tough time at the time. I was having problems with my boyfriend (been together 6 months) on top of moving and selling my pets. I started to self harm i was loosing my self. I had the symptoms of being pregnant deep down I knew I was but I ignored it as I was just about to end it with my boyfriend. But then one morning I woke up and I lost my baby. I can still feel my little one slipping from me. I can't get all that blood out of my mind. I can't stop blaming my self if I wasn't so stressed if I didn't start cutting again after being two years clean, if I was stronger enough and held my self together, if I was pretty enough and my boyfriend was more attracted to me I wouldn't of lost my little one.
I went to the drs alone that day and she confirmed it to be a miscarriage she told me after some tests that it most probably was an etopical pregnancy. I ended up telling my boyfriend that night so I went over to his house and that night I spent the night in his arms on the toilet while our little one slipped away.
I'm a full time mum to an 18 month old and I havnt had any time to greive. I havnt had any time to my self to just cry to say good bye. Every time I start to cry she screams for me. How do I go on? Is any one able to tell me what they did to move on, to say good bye?