I had a still birth 3 months ago and my sister is due to have her baby soon. My actual due date was 4 weeks before hers, I'm upset and worried because I feel she doesn't give a shit about me. She has not spoken to me since the funeral and is constently talking about her baby and labour in front of me having everyone touch her belly! She never done that with her last pregnancy and also didn't want a baby shower till the other day she has decided she wants one but I'm not comfeterble going nor want to be at the hospital after she has the baby!
I just don't know what to do!
Of course I'm happy for her but at the same time I should of been having my baby around the same time.
Anyone else been in the same position?
What can or should I do?
How should I be feeling?
How should I be feeling?
Posted in:
Loss & Grief, Loss of a Child (My Story)
4 Replies
Big hugs, it's possible she is also having confusing feelings about the situation and so is behaving in ways she wouldn't normally. Most people have had no experience of your situation and so they don't know how to behave. If she behaves like she is blaze about her pregnancy it may look like she is taking this pregnancy for granted. I don't know how close you were before your still birth so it's hard to judge what would be appropriate. I would certainly be seeking some grief counselling and perhaps try not to look at your sisters actions as trying to rub it in, but actually really appreciating how lucky she is.
Take yourself on a holiday to somewhere that you can escape this situation and deal with your feelings. Sounds like you have a way to go with your grieving which is to be expected.
Be kind to yourself at this time. X
Im so sorry for your loss. Perhaps try talking to her explain that being round her is also a reminder of what you were looking forward too that now do not have. Some people dont know what to do or what to say so it seems like they dont care lr have forgotten what has happened.
Some people get a reality check when something bad happens to others. This may be her way of enjoying her pregnancy because she knows it could have ended just like yours. If she is happy, and you are happy for her, let her know. Or tell her that you feel down about this but you are there for her.