Hey ladies. I have a beautiful pre-teen daughter who has just spoken to me to let me know that she identifies as ‘pansexual’.
We had a big cuddle and she had a cry as she was relieved to speak to a supportive mum.
Any tips to help me support her best?
She is on the autism spectrum (high functioning and incredibly smart). Any resources, websites etc?
I of course will forever support her 100%, I just don’t know much about it.
6 Replies
Check out the ican network. Basically a group of adults with autism. The autism community is amazingly diverse sexuality and gender wise.
Also check out Wenn Lawson
ASD diagnosis is the only condition that makes psychologists and medical practitioners who specialise in gender and sex change procedures extremely nervous. Their social difficulties and tendency to become hyper focussed on things make them likely to convince themselves they identify as X and throw themselves into the lifestyle with rigor for years and then completely change their mind a few years later. It doesn't mean your daughter isn't pan sexual, but specialists in the field advise proceeding with extreme caution with people with autism.
When a kid knows and says they’re gay, they know they like the gender they like, I believe it.
When a boy says he’s really a girl etc. I also get it, they always knew from a young age what gender they identified as.
But given that we don’t really know what it means, as adults, how the hell does a preteen come up with that? How do they even know the terminology let alone identify with it.
What the poster above says makes sense to me. I would take it with a very big grain of salt.
I would also discourage her from labelling herself, tell her we are all unique and special and as she grows and matures, she can find the right label if that makes her happy. At the moment, just tell her to be herself.
Are you the same mum who wrote in another time, sounds like your daughter may be a bit obsessed with this whole gay/lesbian/trans movement, she may just want to be a part of it.
Geeez I may be showing my age now but what is a Pansexual???
Someone who can be attracted to anybody regardless of gender, race, whether they're trans or gender fluid etc
I wouldn’t do anything. If you doNot care who she loves, just let her love and have an open home that she’s comfortable in.
You wouldn’t make a big deal over her being straight, let her be her and figure it out. She may have heartbreak along the way, just as she would if she were straight.
Let her tell people if she wants to, otherwise carry on as normal..
She comfortable enough to tell you, that’s great. I wouldn’t make a big song and dance personally. She doesn’t need a support group for her sexuality, just a loving home where sexuality literally doesn’t matter and doesn’t define her.