Our 12 year old daughter has recently told us that she thinks that she might be gay. We totally support her in every way no matter what. This isn't really a question but something that i really wanted to tell people about.
During our conversation with her she said 'I don't want to tell anyone at the moment because I'm not ready for the world to hate me yet'.
My heart sank, tears began welling in my eyes but I held them back as I didn't want to upset her. I couldn't believe that even at 12, she realises that the world can be such a harsh place for a gay person. We have some gay friends, both males and females, and I think this helped her in feeling comfortable enough for her to come and tell us what she is feeling. She said that shes not quite sure if she is gay but that at this point in time that she thinks she might be. We assured her that she will know one day, which direction shes going to take, and that we are right there with her to help out in any way that we can. I really just wanted to share that one sentance that took my breath away. I think that people of the world need to support each other, no matter what race, religion or sexual direction and having a 12 year old point this out in such a blunt way really made us sit back and think, wow if a child can spot it then this world is in serious trouble.
6 Replies
Wow. I read that part "Im not ready for the world to hate me" and felt my tears coming and it took my breath away too. It is sad, very sad that a 12 year old feels this way, that she will be hated if she may be/ is gay. The people in this world really SUCK sometimes. Glad you and hubby are definetly not one of those people. With you two beside her, she's in the best hands. Good on her for having the courage to be open to you.
I had a conversation with a friend who is gay a few years ago. She basically said although she is gay and loves her partner, her life would be easier if she wasn't gay. I find it so difficult to fathom that in this day and age some people don't get it. You and your partner must be so proud of your relationship with your daughter. You've obviously done a great job if she feels confortable to have this conversation with you.
As hard as it is and will be at least you and ur husband have provided your daughter with a safe relationship that she is able to open up and come to you with questions ect. I work with young teenagers and the amount of things they have come to me asking questions about because they don't feel safe talking to their parents about it is crazy.
wow tears filled my eyes when i read what she said...
what an amazingly mature and STRONG daughter you have. you must be so so proud. to be so self aware and so self confident to recognise that and verbalise... whats an amazing young lady. and a massive credit to you as parents, who have obviously raised her like this and also have a built strong enough relationship that she felt she could come to you and trust you with this.
she may face struggles yes, but every generation that passes the hate and ignorance is lessening!! she may very well live in a time when if she wants to marry in her 20s, she might be able to. every generation is better.
wishing you all the best. and congratulations on such a wonderful relationship and wonderful daughter.
xxx
You sound like amazing parents. It's very sad the world we live in. I hope one day we can be ourselves without being judged. How brave of her to admit she feels that way, even through she thinks the world will hate her. She is a very strong girl, and you are amazing parents.
I'm saddened that she feels this way but I'm smiling because she has such awesome parents. I think that you are an absolute star and obviously she has a strong relationship with you to open up about it. I don't have any advice, I just want to pat you on the back. I hope your daughter finds peace with her sexuality and that together she grows to love herself regardless xxxx