Ok this isn't really a question n is rather long but i needed to talk to someone and like always noone is around i guess that's not a surprise given the time of night it is. So here i go i dont know how to cope, Thursday morning i found out i was pregnant mind u i had thought i was for over a week but i didnt want to deal with it so i finally did the test n sure enough i was. Yes i was freaking out i had just started seeing a guy who had said he didnt want his own kids. I was just turning my life around im about to start my last semester of college and have lots of other stuff on my plate. I knew i wouldn't terminate but i also knew it wasnt the right time once again (life has a funny way of giving u a curve ball when u least expect it) but this could b my last chance to have another kid so i was starting to get happy about it. Then Friday i had a miscarriage now im trying to deal with the loss of someone/thing i didnt know i wanted. Am i the only one that has felt like this? Should i say anything to him or leave it be? I dont know what to do anymore. And to top it off a friend asked me to be her new babies godmother today (which made me happy n sad at the same time) but i dont know what to say as i haven't really told anyone what has happened.
3 Replies
Yeah I've been there. It made me reassess what I really wanted. Made me consider if being with the guy I was with is the right guy to see. If I wanted more kids and he doesn't he was the wrong guy was what I realised.
I also realised I needed to be using two forms of contraception just like my GP told me to do. Some kind of birth control like the pill (as condoms have a higher failure rate) and cobdoms as my 2nd line of defence and to protect against STDs. And to do that until the relationship was established long enough to weather these situations.
It was a hard lesson and I did come to terms with the disappointment and loss.
I was with my ex for a very long time. That relationship failed and I quite quickly moved on with a friend of mine. As I was dealing with the separation and the selling of my exes and I's house it stirred up lots and lots of feelings again and things were confusing.
I had a horrible 6 months of back and forth and it broke me.
I chose to cut out the ex and go with the friend. And a couple of months later found out I was pregnant. It was the friends, no chance of the ex.
I wasn't ready, it was only 9 months since I split with my ex the first time, and the whole time after it was an emotional roller coaster. Absolutely horrible time.
I was happy about having baby and couldn't wait to start buying things and building a nursery. But, I didn't want to tell anyone, I didn't buy any thing and I kind of couldn't picture myself going through with the pregnancy. I was torn.
When I was 9 weeks I found out I had a missed miscarriage. I was devastated. It wasn't until I had actually lost it that I realised it was what I wanted. In such a small time I had bonded with this little life growing inside me, but I couldn't admit it to anyone. A few days ago would have been my due date, and it makes me so sad.
How your feeling is normal. And there are so many of us who feel the same way. Even though you may not have wanted the baby, there is still a connection with that little life.
Maybe talk to the guy about it, he may surprise you, or confirm that it may be too soon. You will find out how he feels about it and maybe it's something you can plan now.
No advice but my full sympathies, tell your partner, and tell him how devastated you are. It doesn't have to mean you want to have more kids, just that for a short time you did have one and you lost it. And that is deeply upsetting. With any luck your partner will support you through it. Xx