Response to how do we grieve

I wrote in about how do we grieve. Firstly. Some comments are pretty harsh. I married my hubby this year. We were together when he died.
Bm is an alcoholic she doesn't ever stop at just 1 drink. She drank to excess through all of her pregnancies. Regularly going for drinking sessions with her mates. She would have a drink in her hand by 10am.
She admitted to partying that night with family and friends. My step daughter remembers her being drunk. The reason we are angry is. No one is telling us the truth about his death. We can sense they are covering something up. 2 different stories from 1 person. He was alive at 5am but found blue and unresponsive at 6:30 but was pronounced deceased at 7:30. What happened in that hr. an EMT' wouldnt resuscitate for an hour. She was intoxicate and chose to sleep on a single bed mattress with her son. The police arrived 5 minutes after my (now) husband arrived and they accused him before they even knew what had happened. And no she wasn't breathalized. We have started to take this further. His death was classed as undetermined/inconclusive sids category II which falls under mechanical asphyxia. He also had blood on his face which we feel needs answering and he had no bruising or anything on his ribs to even suggest he was resuscitated yet he apparently was. This woman's behaviour doesn't add up. A week after burying him she went to his grave and poured a beer over it for him. A month later she was constantly out partying with friends. For what should have been his 1st birthday she had a piss up at home for him. And the following year tried to kill hersef by eating rat poison while the other children were in her care. She has confessed in court to using ice longer than he had been deceased for also. It's not about wanting her to pay it's wanting the truth so we can grieve properly.