Loss of children, step children and new pregnancy -update

Im not sure if any of you will remember but I wrote in earlier in the year about suffering horrific depression after losing my 3 year old suddenly last year, having a 2 year old and expecting a new baby. I took all your beautiful advice and went to intensive therapy where I was diagnosed with complex PTSD and panic disorder. I have been medicated and I am doing a lot better. We have gone to family therapy with all of our children including 6 year old step son. My relationship with him has improved massively although we still have our moments. My now 2 year old son and I go to assisted playgroups twice a week to help with our bond and we are right where we should be now. Spending lots of time together. Now for the new baby. Another little boy. I was so sure I didn't want this baby. But we almost lost him at 37 weeks and he was born via emergency C-section. He had a rough start to life but it was in those moments when we struggled so hard as family and had all those fears of losing another child come back up. that I realised I may not have wanted him when I was pregnant but the universe knew I needed him to heal my pain. And I couldn't imagine life without him now

I am not perfect I still have my days and with lockdown as well things have been difficult but my life is much brighter and I know that I am honouring my son by people able to be strong and happy.
Thankyou IM's xo