What should I do?
My 17 year old (18 in June) has just told me that she is pregnant. She is adamant that she is keeping it. She won’t reveal who the father is only saying he doesn’t want it. I have 6 children she is my eldest with the youngest being only just turned 1. We are about to start building our home and we were going to build a one bedroom granny flat for her. My question is do I embrace this and change the plans to a 2 bedroom granny flat? Do I make her stand on her own 2 feet?
I’ve got to work out how to tell her father! We had her when I was 18 so I can’t say much but we were both kicked out and struggled to survive/provide for ourselves and our children! She’s working full time and has a decent amount of savings and should be able to get maternity leave
Teen pregnancy
Teen pregnancy
Posted in:
Teenagers, Dating & Sex
19 Replies
My hubby and I had our oldest when I was 17 going on 18 (he was 19 going on 20).
We made it work in my in-laws one bedroom granny flat for a while and our granny flat didn't have running water 😂
That and the fact my MIL had the lifestyle of a frat boy kind of forced us out before we were ready.
I wish that I'd been able to live at home for a year of so after my baby was born. I may have been able to finish school, save money for our my own place and if have been able to afford childcare so I could work/study.
So I guess my advice is to support her as much as you can, the longer she stays at home, the better off she and baby will be long term.
Hi are you the lady who wrote in the other day about your hubby wanting a boy? I think you should support her and still build the granny flat for her. It will be perfect little space for her and the baby xx.
Yep. Maybe this will make him realise we are too old to have another!! I’ve looked into it this afternoon and a two bedroom one is only 5k more so probably worth it!
I would definitely look at a 2 bedroom if it’s possible. She is lucky to have you both xx.
I would 100% support her. I mean have the conversation that probably needs to be had about safe sex and responsibilities of choices initially but let her know you love her and are there for her and support her every way you can. She might already feel upset with the dad not wanting anything to do with the baby.
If you can build a 2 br granny flat do it. Not just for her but for anything in the future.
She'll be fine in a 1 br place for the first 5- 7 years and she'll have it made having the cheap rent and support so close. Or she can always move out or who knows what will come up in that time.
Just remind her that him wanting nothing to do with it (her) now doesnt mean he'll be out of the picture. He has rights and can actually make things hell for her. Help her sort the legals of that out asap.
If it’s affordable and doable then I’d build the two bedroom. But she can share a room with her baby for a couple of years if she needs to.
Yes, provide emotional support. Help her find childcare services, but don’t take over. Let her look after and parent the baby.
My parents let me live at home when I had my son. We shared a bathroom. I decided on my own to move out when my son was about 1. I felt I’d gotten a handle of things and it was time to create my own space.
Support her! If you're able to make those changes absolutely do so. Wishing all the best
I would go the two bedroom. Support her in the way you would have liked to be. This is not the end of the world!
Make her responsible and accountable by way of board etc
Yep this is my thinking too. She was going to be ‘paying’ off the granny flat anyway and it’s being metered separately so she will be responsible for her own bills etc.
Off topic but why would she be paying off the granny flat? Thats your asset! I agree to pay board and amenities but she shouldn't be paying it off, it's not like she gets to own it.
Because this is what she wanted to do. It will be hers to live in for as long as she wants. My husband is putting the money she pays into an account so when she moves out it will be given to her as a house deposit or whatever she wants to do with it.
Help her and be there as much as you can.
Definitely still build a granny flat if you're able to. She will need all the help she can get.
What does your heart tell you to do?
Always follow your heart and let your love for your daughter guide you, not what you think is the right or wrong thing to do.
Treat her exactly the same way you think you should have been treated when you were pregnant with her. Not many home owners would take a 17 year old on as a tenant anyway so she may be home with you for a while. I would still build the granny flat as you were going to, one bedroom is big enough for her and the baby and I doubt she will be home forever. I know it's a shock but as you were both young parents you just need to think waaay back to when you were going through this and how you felt. Be happy for your grandchild 💕
I’d keep it a 1 bedroom. Big enough for now but will encourage her to become independent eventually
If it was me and I could afford the 2 bedroom granny flat I would do that. She won’t want to live with you guys forever. What a shame the father is already out of the picture. I can’t believe you were kicked out when you fell pregnant. How awful. All the best with everything.
You support her. If you financially can you build a 2 bed granny flat. Make sure you support her while making sure she stands on her own two feet though.
Also you can rent out the granny flat if need be in the future. Know a few who have used theirs that way. Even charging her rent, better to pay cheaper ren't to you than elsewhere.