13yr old accessing adult content.
We check sons phone and laptops regularly and have now had 2 in depth diacussions to him about accessing adult websites. We blocked apps on his phone, changed the Chrome settings on it to have parental approval for ALL websites and he has now snuck my personal laptop and used it to access these websites.
We are having to change all passwords on all our own personal devices and family computer as we have now banned him from using any screens. Phone has been taken away aswell as his personal tv. But we are at our wits end on how to deal with this and curb the sneaking around on it. Any advice ladies
13yr old accessing inappropriate content
13yr old accessing inappropriate content
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt, Behaviour, Teenagers, Tips and Advice, Dating & Sex, Puberty
4 Replies
Is this kind of the new generations version of sneaking dirty mags? With that in mind I would do what youre doing, keep locking it down. Steer him towards something thats ok, ie) if you want to see boobs go and watch american pie ( sorry I have no idea if that example is actually suitable for 13 y olds, just an example).
Why is it so wrong for him to access this content? Maybe you could find a safer way for him to view it, such as more PG porn rather than shame and embarrass him for having natural urges...
I agree with you. Men are pervs and are interested in porn at this age. They bought dirty mags and video tapes back in the day. Get his dad to buy him a dirty mag and hide it under his bed.
Part of the reason kids go for porn, is because their parents do not talk to them about sex. Would you give your life savings in cash to an unknown person and ask them to take care of it for you?
Why would you allow their educator in the birds and the bees and the facts of life, be other kids in the school yard, or sex educators in school? They will teach the crude basics (often wrong, if it is coming from other kids) - but they do not teach anything about what constitutes a health relationship.
1. Sit your son down, and have the discussion - ask him about sex, ask him to tell you what he knows. Use proper words, penis, vagina, intercourse, sex, ejaculation, ovulation, semen etc.
2. It sounds to me that you likely haven't had this discussion at all. Ask him what he knows about what constitutes a mature relationship - that includes sex. Find out what his expectations are around women, sex and relationships. Then you need to correct him.
3. Ask, would he be happy to see a female relative of his in these videos? A sister, cousin, aunt?
4. Be engaged and ask to meet any girlfriends. Impress on both of them, the importance of personal boundaries.
If you do not have this continuing discussion - and its ongoing, he will have the wrong impressions of women, and relationships.
He's a teenager, so also supply him some condoms to experiment and become familiar with.
It sounds like you have 6 or 7 years of sex and relationship education to catch up on, because you have dropped the ball in that department, and not done anything - probably because your parents never talked to you about it. Its rectifiable, and it starts with a discussion with him in his bedroom, when you are both comfy and relaxed "I'm sorry I should have talked about this before, but its an ongoing discussion that we need to have, and I should have started years ago ... "
Make it a bi weekly mum and son catch up in private - Until you have all bases covered. Then its an ongoing discussion.