My 18 year old son asked if he could have a girl sleepover. He called me while he was with her and it was after 10pm at night on a week day.
He had never mentioned her before. Nobody in my family has ever met her.
Just the other week he was talking to several girls which he boasted about so it’s not a serious relationship if a relationship at all.
He has never had a girl stay over before. I said no I wouldn’t allow her to sleep over unless I had met her and if I was going to meet her it would be at lunch or dinner not late at night.
He got very upset and kept asking and asking and when he finally realised I wouldn’t allow it he didn’t come home that night.
Did I make the wrong call? I want him to be safe but don’t want my house to be a revolving door of women.
8 Replies
I would put some trust into my child and ask how long have they known this person? How did you meet? If they know each other well then it would be fine by me because I know my teenagers aren't hanging around crack heads or criminals.
Good for you! you house, your rules. Tell him to bring her over to meet you.
It's a hard one.
My home is my sacred place and I wouldn't want it becoming my child's shag pad either (I can't say I love the idea of having strangers of any gender in my home as well) but on the other hand, kids these days are kind of forced to stay home longer because it's so unaffordable for them to move out. So where are they meant to go for a bit of casual nookie 😂
Maybe there's a middle ground that's works for you both?
I don’t think you made the wrong call. My son is also 18 and I have never allowed anyone to sleepover (male or female ) unless I have met them. This rule has been in place since he was old enough to have sleepovers and will continue. This is my home and I will not have strangers staying the night. It would make me uncomfortable and I will not be uncomfortable in my own home. My son doesn’t have a girlfriend so we are not having the girlfriend sleepover conversation as yet but he is also a full time student who we are supporting so for now our rules will apply.
So if he stays out and bangs her anyway, what’s the difference?
He’s out god knows where, instead of safe at home. Are there siblings at home who need sleep? Is the time of coming and going the issue? Or are watching big brother? It doesn’t sound like a long term thing but it also doesn’t sound like a revolving string considering he’s asked once. At the end it’s completely up to you, but I think there’s some discussion and rule setting so you both know what’s ok and what’s not.
Well I'd rather have our 18yo at home than doing it in the car, motel, park ok beach. Cause that's what I did when my parents said no to have a boy over when I lived at home at 18.
Your house, your rules.
I'd feel uncomfortable with having a stranger in my house. You never know these days what people are capable of and you're always best to have the mindset of better to be safe than sorry.
Your home your rules!
In my house no sleepovers unless you are in a long term serious relationship. I have primary school aged children living at home still. My boys respected the rules, even the 24 yo who had broken up with his long term partner of 5 years asked to have his new girlfriend stay over the first time we met, I said no and they both understood!