Hi everyone. Hoping for some insight from mums who’ve experienced this.
My 15 year old son has been with his girlfriend for about 8 months.
He has started asking if she can sleep over. So far I have said no, but I am really in two minds. I know that they will be experimenting together, I am not naive enough to think they aren’t. And I guess I am leaning towards preferring they be in a safe place rather than anywhere else.
I have had the conversation with my son about safe sex, and all the things, but wrestling with old school values I was brought up with and wanting to be supportive of my son and provide he and his girl with a safe space. Obviously any decisions will be in consultation with his girlfriend’s parents also. Thank you!
Sleepovers
Sleepovers
Posted in:
Teenagers, Dating & Sex
7 Replies
You should look at age of consent laws in your state and have this influence an informed decision
I grew up in the "not under my roof" era.
That meant that places with varying degrees of riskiness became sexual activity hot spots for kids of my generation. I'm talking like the fort in the primary school playground, the local cemetery, disability toilets, a massive dead hollowed out gum tree, the spare room belonging to a 60 year old man who allowed teenagers to party in his house...
I firmly believe that giving a young person a safe, comfortable, controlled environment to explore this very normal part of their development is one of the most responsible things a parent can do.
Of course boundaries are needed as are very clear expectations of behaviour but he's shown a lot of maturity by being open with you about wanting his girlfriend to spend the night, so I'd be quite comfortable saying yes in this situation.
My 15yo stays at her boyfriends all the time. I figure, if they're going to have sex, they will find a place to do it. Just talk safe sex and hope they take it on. Hand him a box of latex free condoms and tell him to ask his gf about birth control. Never avoid this situation. Take it on with education. Age of concent won't stop teens having sex.
While I understand people saying young people will be having sex despite consent laws, this is a very valid point. What do the girl's parents think about this? If they are unhappy, you and your son could be in for a world of pain as his parents allowed and promoted (by supplying protection) sex in their home. 15 year old boys don't have much of a brain no matter how mature they are perceived so it's your job to do the thinking about consequences for him.
I had sex at 14. I had sleep overs at my boyfriends because he lived about 45 mins away but we had to sleep in different rooms. We did found time/place to have sex. No matter if its a sleep over or not, they'll do it if they are doing it!
I would make sure there is contraception forms involved if her parents give the ok.
I would much prefer this to happen at home than at a park or somewhere gross. least at home, I can provide protection for my kids and their partners.
I dont want my kids to go through the shit I did. where it wasn't in a safe place.
will they know the risks, yes they will. will they know boundaries, ill be sure to instill that too. I will provide them with anything I can to help them with a positive outlook on life. there's already so much crap out there when it comes to our young kids.
speak with the other parents as well. communication is key.
I would much prefer this to happen at home than at a park or somewhere gross. least at home, I can provide protection for my kids and their partners.
I dont want my kids to go through the shit I did. where it wasn't in a safe place.
will they know the risks, yes they will. will they know boundaries, ill be sure to instill that too. I will provide them with anything I can to help them with a positive outlook on life. there's already so much crap out there when it comes to our young kids.
speak with the other parents as well. communication is key.