Hi, I just wanted to ask mums for their advice my best friend has a 13 year old daughter who is doing bad things, drugs, drinking, sex with random boys, sneaking out to parties, and so much more I fear for her safty and alway tell her mum what shes up too, I find our via my children and through face book , her Mother dosent have face book
my question is am I doing the right thing telling my friend as I always feel so bad after telling her, but I would also feel bad for not telling her.
I have a son and daughter around the same age and they never do things like this i feel she my resent me for having good kids.
The truth is I love her daughter as my own and I am not rubbing it in her face but thats how I feel after telling her.
I have spoken to my friend about how i feel she tells me its okay and that i should tell her, but I cant help feeling guilty.
Am i doing the right thing?
Am i doing the right thing?
Posted in:
Teenagers, Tips and Advice, Dating & Sex, Drugs & Alcohol, Puberty
6 Replies
Yes, you are doing the right thing. It's never good to be the bearer or bad news but I doubt your friend is thinking about how she resents you in any way.
If it were me it would be running through my mind that I'd be really angry my kids were making such an arse of me behind my back and I'd also be thinking immediately about what to do about the 13 year old renegade.
Your friend is probably very grateful to you for keeping her in the know and tactfully so - were she angry with you I think you would know it by now.
All you have to do is ask yourself if it was you, would you want your friend to tell you, even if it wasn't something nice to hear?
thankyou
What you are doing is the right thing. Whether or not your kids do these things doesn't matter you are helping a friend to know what is happening with her daughter like you would hope someone would with your kids. Also what your kids are doing telling you is great and you should make sure they know they are helping this girl by letting you know. Don't feel bad about telling her because your kids aren't doing these things but feel good because in the end each bit of this information will help your friend and her daughter in the long run.
thank you
Your are doing the right thing:) my daughter is 15yrs old nearly 16yrs old and even though it breaks your heart to know what your kids are doing sometimes your better off knowing than being in the dark. If you don't know whats going on then how can you even try to help them. I think most teenagers go through hard stages as an example I got pregnant with my daughter when I was 15 and the last thing I want her to do is make a life change decision at that age. Even though her father and I are still together it's pretty rare for it to turn out that way and in regards to drugs and drinking if nothing bad happens well she's one of the lucky ones :) Never hold back your are definetly doing the right thing.
Is there someone trusted who can talk to the girl and see if there's a reason behind her behaviour? It could be signs of abuse (not accusing - but everyone is a potential victim so it's worth checking), it could be peer pressure/ boredom or low self esteem. I think you're doing the right thing in telling your friend for sure. Hopefully something can be done to get her back to a happy place, I'm a big fan of the big brother/sister mentoring programs. Is this a possibility for her?