A friends transgender teen needing support.

Anonymous

A friends transgender teen needing support.

Hoping someone here has a bit of advice.
A friends daughter has come to me and told me that she thinks she might be a boy. She hadn't told anyone else what she was feeling and I won't say anything to anyone until she is ready.
She told her 'mother' a couple of days later that she wanted to dress like a boy. Well her mother completely flipped out and said all this horrible stuff to her and to her nan about her. Saying it was just a phase and she was only doing it to piss her off. The poor darling ending messaging me and was so upset she couldn't eat all day. I was so mad at her mother it took a lot of restraint not to go over there and smack the bitch in the face.
I know her dad and step mum (our friends) will be nothing but supportive of her. Her step mum will probably cry with happiness and then want to go shopping for boys stuff lol.
I guess I am wanting to know of some ways I can help support her. I have already told her to call me at anytime and that she can talk to me about anything without any judgement.

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage, Parenthood Guilt, Teenagers, Tips and Advice, Dating & Sex, Puberty

3 Replies

Anonymous

It sounds like you're already doing a good job!
Perhaps you could encourage her to tell her father and step mother?
She needs as much love and support as possible. Just be careful not to push her if she isn't ready.
Ask her if she'd rather be called a 'he' instead of a 'she'. Maybe buy her some clothes to help show your support. Ask her what she wants or needs from you right now.
Is it possible for her to live with her father full time? Because living with someone so unsupportive will make such a difficult transition even harder. If she's living with someome who supports her choice, it will allow her to decide if she wants to transition or if it really is 'just a phase'.
But really, all you need to do is continue to love and support them. It sounds like she needs an extra parent figure in her life right now, especially with her mother acting the way she is.
Good luck to you both x

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Mary-Anne Smith

Well said ?

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Anonymous

I'd also encourage her to see her GP, so she can be referred onto appropriate services. She will need a lot of support and it's best to get people involved who know how the systems etc. The GP will probably refer her to mental health services, not because there is something wrong but because she is going to need someone to talk to who doesn't have a horse in this race.

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