Warning, distressing content.
I'm the woman who wrote in a while ago about my exs brother being charged with watching child pornography and whether or not I should tell my exs family who has very small children.
The court case was today. Hes been found guilty! But... he basically got off with a slap on the wrist. Last time I wrote in I was very distressed about how much my ex was protecting his brother and making excuses. How no one was notifying other family members with children about his offences and not giving them a choice to bring their children around to family gatherings.
The family of the perp has been making excuses and protecting him this whole fking time and this scumbag has gotten off with a suspended sentence. And it's only being recorded on his file for 5 years.
So I found out via phone conversation that the pedo (let's call him D) had lied about what actually happened. D had said he accidentally came across some unsure material but thought the person in the pornography was 17 or so... found out that wasnt the case... the child in question was MUCH younger. So here is the story from my ex and what happened in court today.
D had heard family rumours that his dad had taken photos and videos of him and his 3 siblings as children (all 4 children were tampered with as children by their father) and they were circulating on the internet. So D went looking for them. (I call absolute BS!!!!) Then somehow that led D to looking at child pornography and the police caught him and he was charged.
Today at the court D had made a defense case by saying he did it because his dad had abused him. Ds sister who is a psychologist wrote a 3000 page defence for D blaming their dad and how it affected all of them. My ex got up on the stand in defence of this complete sicko.
It blew my mind... these siblings of D were all protecting him... the judge took this defence in mind and gave him a suspended sentence with a criminal record of 5 years.
Wtf is wrong with this justice system? Has anyone heard an impact statement from the child in the video? From the mother of that child? Has anyone ever considered that we literally have an EPIDEMIC of child sexual abuse and pedophilia in this country. Does anyone ever stop to think that there is a royal commission investigation into our judicial system and these sick fks are getting off Scott free with suppression orders, slaps on the wrist and no consequences for what they've done? These sick people are walking free to go and commit these crimes again!
9 times out of 10 they recommit the crimes they were guilty of ffs! We have a massive problem in the justice system and pedophilia. Well... now D is back out on the streets and free to commit more crimes against our children.
I bet this family isnt even going to tell their extended family about what's happened... it goes to show how far people will go to protect these sick fkn puppies.
32 Replies
Was there more to the sentencing such as he needs to seek out psychological help to get control over what happened to him in the past?
Yes. As far as I know that is a condition of his suspended sentence.
It's not my point though. This man premeditated the actions of seeking out this explicit material at the cost of harming and abusing young children. Not only that but he gets to walk out back into the community were he has the chance to recommit his crimes and perform others as well. We all know the statistics about these types of people they always reoffend! And not only that but it has severely disturbed me that this monsters own siblings are standing up for him defending his actions. They blame their father. What happened to owning up and taking responsibility for your actions? When are we no longer responsible for our actions? I've been abused from the age of 4 right up until April this year, I have suffered under the hands of these types of men. I'm nearly 30. Do you see me seeking out this material and blaming my actions on someone else? No! It's a premeditated concious action and it should have been dealt with alot harsher than this. I told my ex I think the judge made the wrong decision and his brother should be in jail for what hes done. He said I didnt know what I was talking about and that I had no relevant opinion in the matter and he agrees with the judge. I cant deal with this our system is fkd.
Statistics also do show that people (especially males) who themselves were exploited to sexual abuse as a kid are more likely to commit offences too. I think the whole system needs an overhaul and people need to be offered a lot more support for the abuse they were put through :(
I understand how compassionate you feel about this, especially with it being someone who is so close in means to your family!
I was going to say that's what clinical research says as well. Also, it links the pattern to a means of understanding what happened to them. That's why his psychologist sister was able to submit evidence on his behalf. I actually think the judge got it right.
I agree that the judge also got it right, I can definitely understand why the family are supporting him. Only they would know what they went through as children and it sounds like they haven't all been given the right support to move on from it.
It's never, ever right obviously however he was looking at content as far as he's been proven guilty as opposed to actually acting on his urges (if he has any). It may be a way in which he copes with what he was exposed to and was not doing it in a sexual manner. However, the judge had a rightful reason to sentence him in such a way. Hopefully he can now get the psychological help needed to move forward from this.
You have to be fucking joking right!
The only thing a pedo needs is a bullet to the front of the forehead
Based on statistics then, lets also kill the victims of said pedos because they'll just offend too.
All of this is based on a phone conversation and he said she said too, not actual hard facts!
Not all victims offend ( I am one) but all guilty pedos do
True. Statistically, women self harm to cope and men act out on others as a means to process their experience. But the opposite can apply and many don't fall into either. Looking at a photo is not a pedophile as it hasn't been acted on and with specialised psychiatric intervention to process his trauma in a more effective and healthy way, the judge may just have saved his life and the wellbeing of people that are currently happy and innocent.
So much tagging!
OP here, dear mums and dads, I appreciate your responses but there are a couple questions to your answers I do need to raise (which will in fact raise a few eyebrows)
I've done my own studying (as a registered RN who has access to GLOBAL health databases, all from physical, mental, social and other databases you can imagine) and there is NO (re read that) NO definitive link between the abuse-abuser theory. I've read studies (which are non biased wide based studies conducted in multiple countries including approx 40,000.00 offenders per intake) and the results are conclusive. Only 4% of those 40,000.00 odd registered child sex offenders committed their crimes out of the abuse-abuser theory. In conclusion there is no diffinative link between someone being abused as a child and carrying out offences at a later date. The studies all came down to 1 thing. They were premeditated acts of sexual violence which required 4 modes of psychological inhibitors (both social and innate) and motivation. The offender HAD to surpass all 4 inhibitors ONTOP of having some form of motivation (being sexual gratification) in order to commit these acts of sexual violence against children.
My first question is...
1. If in fact this pedophile is claiming an abuse-abuser defence, why, out of all 4 children (which have been abused) did he CHOOSE to act on and surpass all 4 psychological, social and motivational inhibitors?
2. If the judge had in fact considered the ACTUAL evidence of the offence and reoffence rate of child sexual offenders in Australia at this current point in time, why would she ( yes SHE) practically pat him on the bum and send him on his merry way?
3. Given current evidence supporting the fact that pedophilia is an innate unchangeable sexual preference (akin to homosexuality and such) and cannot be controlled, why would she release a child sex offender back out into the community where he is most likely going to re offend and have access to children?
If anyone can please give me some sort of answer or argument to this please please I beg you.
I’m not buying it. You’re a nurse not a psychiatrist and therefore actually cannot access a database with said statistics... a nurse does NOT have such privilege
I thought one of the biggest indicators of a child being sexual abused was acting out those behaviours on another child? Then they grow up, it’s not a stretch really.
Having said that, no way he would come near my child and I think the punishment was weak as piss, our justice system is shit.
Haha. I dont care whether you believe it or not. Us nurses DO in fact have a wide range of resource material and databases at our disposal. In fact, having some psychological training and information about our future patients is mandatory in our degrees it helps us be better nurses and provide more evidence based practice. Maybe if you had a bachelors degree under your belt in medicine I *might* take you more seriously. assuming a health practitioner doesnt have access to worldwide databases in health and psychology (among an array of other wonderful enlightening subjects) is just poor intellectual judgement.
I’m sorry OP but you just don’t have a very strong argument and I think your closeness to this subject and it being so close to your heart is making you have a biased opinion. As an outsider I have an unbiased opinion and can understand why the family have stood by him. He’s looked up content as far as guilty and hasn’t actually physically assaulted a child. I think the judge got it right and with the correct psychological intervention he can be helped.
So you would be fine leaving your children around a person like this then? I mean they have only looked at child porn, they haven’t actually touched, raper or hurt a child (yet)
Perhaps the databases you have access to don't include the journals that this research would be published in. Research demonstrating that acting out the abuse can be a way of trying to process it is certainly available in the databases I have access to. Also, you said that this man hasn't actually acted out anything. He accessed photographs. Meaning that with intervention, he may be able get the help he needs. I'd restrict interactions with my kids but I wouldn't be enraged that his family support him. Their support may be the crucial thing that helps his psychological intervention to be successful
I haven’t said I would leave my kids with him, that’s your assumptions. I certainly would not, however I do understand that there’s a means for rehabilitation.
You sound like a crazy woman and I’m sorry but you’re preaching to the wrong crowd here.
I have access to ANY and ALL medical, research journals the world can provide. I dont agree with the excuse that "hes only looked at videos he hasn't done it himself" reason. If you conduct your own research (just Google as a start) you will find out the impact that films and photography of this material have on the poor children who are a victim of it. Some research I've done myself, the victims have stated that they cannot move forward from their trauma and feel that whenever *pedophiles* look at their material, they feel re raped and traumatized by it. Knowing the material will never be removed from the internet because of redistribution between these people. They will never be free of it. I cant sit back and nod my head when someone says "they just watched it". Its a gateway thing TO actually doing more severe crimes upon children more often than not. It makes me sad.
Now we know you really are BSing. You absolutely do not have access to ANY and ALL medical journals the world can provide. I’m sorry but you absolutely do not. You’re a NURSE, you don’t have that privilege!
not the op, you're so rude! You don't agree with her, that doesn't discount her knowledge or facts. You disagree and your opinion is to repeatedly put her down. There is everything right with a person determined to protect children and something wrong when people justify adult behaviour that harms children.
His family shifting the blame and supporting him not taking responsibility for his crimes do not look like a family that are going to facilitate a psychological intervention. I don't think a family should disown a member if they do commit a crime, but if the family are getting up and defending him to avoid him having consequences in leui of his childhood suffering, how does that even help this situation. It seems the OP is enraged at the family downplaying the crime and defending/justifying his crime. They are also not disclosing information to others, they are protecting the offender. You can support someone faced with this situation without minimising their crime or trying to say it's something that it isn't.
How old was the girl? Not making excuses but some girls look a lot older than what they are. If that was the only video they got him for then it could really have been an accident. It sounds like it was a set up site by police.
Whether it was a Male or female (I'm guessing Male, as the perp is gay) I'm unsure. But the material was YOUNG child.
How can it be an accident? Watching the whole content? Turn it off at 2 seconds? There are no accidents in watching a sex crime be committed on a child continuously.
I'm shocked at these possible justifications!
I know how you feel, expect the issue with my family is my nephew started sexually abusing my niece when she was 2 and he was 15, continued on until he was 20 when she finally spoke up. This has separated the family which the social worker involved warned everyone about. On one side is most of the family including myself, brother (nieces dad) my mum etc defending my niece. On the other is my half sister (nephews mum) and nan. They are acting like everything is ok and it wasn’t even serious, never once asked how my niece is and instead rewarding him for his behaviour by buying him things etc it went to court and he got nothing except being on the sex offenders register for 7 years and seeing a psychologist, that’s it! We are all disgusted that there was no justice for my niece and to have my nan and sister defend all his actions even though he admitted to it all. Everyone refuses to see them now, I hope your ex doesn’t have the kids around his brother
That's really sad to hear, victim needs to be supported and defended always.
I'm sorry this is something you're dealing with. And the comments! smh. One thing I have learnt is some people will defend even a liar to their death. I'm from a family system where we call each other out and expect responsibility to be taken, I married into a family that will cover and lie about someones actions and never ever admit it. You are right to be angered, it seems like you're more angry about the siblings defending him like it's ok that he did that because of what happened to him. No it's not ok, he hasn't shown remorse he hasn't taken responsibility and these are red flags for reoffending and possibly acting on it. There is no way to minimise child pornography, it is abuse, assault, despicable behaviour. You should tell, or do what you please. You make your own choices and wear the consequences of them. A lot of people do live in denial, will minimise things and make you out to be crazy if they don't like what you say, but keep the faith in your morals and desire to protect children from harmful people. :(